Ăn Ngay Ở Lành
Cha Minh Trân, CMC

35. How far can me and my girlfriend take kissing until it's a sin?

Hi Father,

I have a girlfriend. We've been dating for quite a while. I have a question want to ask you. How far can me and my girlfriend take kissing until it's a sin? (Mike)

Hey Mike. You put me in the spot here…Yes, as you might have thought about it, kissing, by itself, is not a sin. It can be a sacred thing. St. Paul, in one of his letters to the church, encourages his "saints" to greet one another with a holy kiss. (Rom 16:16)

To tell you the truth, I've been skimming over the Catechism of the Catholic Church and the Canon Law to see if the Church says anything about kissing, but to my surprise I've found none so far. I then ask some of the priests in the house for their opinions and one said kissing would be alright except kissing on the lip or on the mouth… But I then found two scripture passages which say: "kiss on the lips who makes an honest reply." (Pro. 24:26), and "let him kiss me with kisses of his mouth." (Sg 1:2) So, I challenged that priest to see how he would explain those scripture passages. He then went on explaining to me what he meant was a "French kiss," or a passionate kiss. That is, a kiss that sexually arouses oneself. And he said that's a sin.

One more thing, Mike, I believe that we all have the principles of the moral law, which are written in the conscience of every person. Basically, it means "do good and avoid evil." Therefore, not just only kissing, but in whatever you do, if your conscience trouble then that is when you need to stop and think about it. I want to share with you a line from a friend of mine. He said, "If you can kiss in front of your parent, then that kiss is alright."

In Christ,


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